Tenshops' Blog: May 2017

Turning eighty is a major milestone in anyone’s life, specially as it provides a vantage point from where one can look back with some satisfaction at one’s own life struggles and achievements. It is actually a good time for celebration and happy get-togethers with near and dear ones. My dear wife, Kumud turned eighty last Sunday on May 7, 2017 and we had a small celebration at a local hotel in Virar amidst close friends and relatives. I gave a small talk on the occasion, which was much appreciated by those present at the function and here below I am reproducing it verbatim for the benefit of those who could not attend the function.

" Ladies and Gentlemen,

I would like to thank first of all, those of you who have come down all the way from far off places, like Ahmedabad and Pune, specially to attend today’s function. I would specially like to introduce two of our chief guests tonight, Shri Rajesh Singhji and Shri Bhagwan Kondalekarji, who are both active members of a local NGO, called Samarpan Charitable Trust, Virar. The Trust is doing some exemplary social work among adivasis in some of the villages around Virar and we would certainly appreciate if they could brief us later after my talk about the good work they are doing here in Virar.

Friends, it gives me great pleasure to welcome you all on this great occasion. For, today is a golden letter day of great historical importance! Because, it was on this very day eighty years back, that is, on May 7, 1937 the coronation of King George VI took place in England, the Golden Gate Bridge opened in San Francisco in U.S and Warner Bros. released their famous film, “Life of Emil Zola” with lot of fanfare in New York ……. and it was also on this very day that in a distant suburb of Mumbai, called Vile Parle, was born today’s birthday girl, Kumud to a young and happy couple as their first and only daughter. Did you know that she shares her birthday with such famous personalities as the nurse, Florence Nightingale, the actors Gary Cooper and Rudolf Valentino and erstwhile President, Harry Truman of the United States of America ?

As the little girl grew up in Dadar, eventually she came to be known as everyone’s “Babyakka” -------- not only to her own four younger brothers and cousins, but also to her numerous friends and admirers. Later, after her marriage, when she took up a teaching job in AFAC School, Chembur she became very popular among her students as their much loved and respected Science and Maths Teacher. Even to this day, whenever we visit Chembur, she is often accosted by some or other handsome young man in the late fifties who is introduced to me as one of her many bright, old, pet student and the guy looks all too happy to meet his once favorite, science teacher. The other day, for instance, she saw one good looking, not-so-old man in the Post Office, whom she stopped to ask him if he had studied in AFAC School, Chembur and passed his SSC in 1965. When he replied “Yes” to both her questions, she was highly excited and exclaimed, “I knew it the moment I saw you. You’re Rahul Chopra, aren’t you? You were in my class, Man! ” He looked in surprise at my wife and said, “ Yes, madam, I am Rahul Chopra, alright and I did study in Chembur. But, sorry, we couldn’t possibly be in the same class. I was going to a Boys’ school and there were no girls in my class!”

“I know, Stupid. I was your class teacher! ” said my wife.

Ladies, they say, don’t like their true age to be revealed; but today I have to make an exception in the case of my wife and tell you a little secret : though she doesn’t look it, believe me, she has really turned eighty today. She has always looked much younger than her age and in fact, it's always been a problem for me trying to convince people that she is not my second or third wife! No, she has in no way been cheated into marrying a guy much older than herself.

If you are turning eighty today, you don’t have to feel bad or mean about it. Turning eighty is not such a bad thing after all. It all depends on how you look at it. If you were a dog, you’d be considered only sixteen today! There are many benefits of being eighty, you know, which you may not realize at first. First and foremost, you now have so many people to love. Wherever you go, you are welcomed with awe and respect; people won’t mind any longer if you don’t wait in the queue or jump it as you like. When travelling in a local train, people will get up and offer you a seat while muttering under their breath “Why can’t the old man stay at home and relax, instead of travelling in these crowded trains during rush hours and creating unnecessary hassles for himself and others?” They will seek your advice on all sundry and petty matters, though they may not necessarily take it. They think, rightly or wrongly, that years of experience have given you so much wisdom. It is true, by the time you are eighty, you have learnt almost everything there is to know, but you only have to remember it. The main problem, however, is that nobody really cares to ask you.

Joint pains and memory loss are two other most common, old age problems that no eighty year old can ever hope to escape. As the renowned Marathi playwright, Mr P.L Deshpande once said, one should learn to look at these joint pains more positively, because they actually help to reassure you that you’re very much alive and kicking. For the same reason, I regularly go through every day the “Obituary” column in Times of India. If my name isn’t there, then at least I know that I am not dead! I can then have a good breakfast and go back to sleep.

When you start forgetting in old age, you almost always start by forgetting others' names first, then you forget their faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, what is much worse, when the need is most urgent you forget to pull it down. There is a bright side to it also --- you can now safely afford to forget your wife’s birthday as she will forgive you, hopefully, for your inadvertent errors. But, don't forget to keep your fingers crossed. What’s more, if wife starts nagging, you don’t have to worry any more about which deaf ear to turn, as in all likelihood you are equally hard of hearing in both your ears; moreover, you could also quietly mute your hearing aid without letting her know. My wife has a good tip for overcoming forgetfulness. Whenever she does not want to forget something very important, she makes it a point to tie a tiny knot in the pallu of her saree and then asks me to remember what that third knot in the series of knots in her pallu stands for! Someone told her that in order to keep hackers away you should change the passwords for ATM bank accounts etc as often as possible; so, she keeps changing the order of the knot sequence in her pallu! For this very reason, now a day I take strong objection to her visiting old friends and relatives staying in distant suburbs like Dadar or Vashi, because I shudder to think of what will happen to me if she forgets her way back home! One last tip before I stop. Please never ever tell a youngster of your woes about your own forgetfulness. For all you know, he may come back with some remark like “ I know, Uncle. You have told me this at least five times since yesterday”

So friends, we are here to celebrate Kumud’s eighty golden years which were full of energy, achievement, and happiness. During this period, she has also seen sadness and had some very tough times too, but she always imparted to us some of the great inner strength she managed to find for herself to fight and rise above them. As her husband, I feel truly privileged to have such a wonderful wife like her, but also my family ---- both my sons, their wives and children ---- all feel grateful to her for being a role model, such a wonderful, generous, loving person and an inspiration to all.

As already announced, Kumud has declined to accept any kind of birthday gifts and she has made it amply clear she is not going to make any concession to me also in this regard. So, I thought in lieu of a gift I should start a scholarship for a poor deserving student in her name, which would be the most appropriate gift for her considering that she is a born teacher and helping needy students is a subject very close to her heart. She has already been giving help anonymously to many a poor student by way of free text books, note books, school uniforms etc.

Kumud handing over the Cheque for Scholarship to the office bearers

of the Samarpan Charitable Trust, Virar.

So, in association with Samarpan Charitable Trust of Virar I am proposing to launch in her name a monthly scholarship for very poor students, who may or may not be rank holders but just the same have a deep desire and ambition to complete their college education and prosper in life. There are already numerous scholarships and prizes for bright students; it is the very poor, mediocre but nonetheless ambitious students who are in dire need of financial help. I mean to give a donation in the form of a corpus fund, which will be sufficient to yield, by way of interest, about Rs. 12000/ per annum (or Rs 1000/- per month). This scholarship will be given to one poor, deserving student each year and he will be followed by one more poor, deserving student next year and so on. Each selected student will thus receive the scholarship for a period of three years so as to help him complete his higher education in college.

On the occasion of her eightieth birthday I wish to give my wife, Kumud a hand-made greeting card, in which I have written some of my innermost thoughts today, in the form of a letter addressed to her, which though personal I would like to share with you. "