Jokes about surnames

"When people laugh, they generally don't kill each other"                                                              

                                                                                     ..... Alan Alda

  Surnames, no Laughing Matter

   ·   The lady manager noticed a new person in her office one day and told him to come into her office. "What's your name?" she asked.      "John," the new guy replied.

The manager scowled, "Look, here we don't call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last name only - Smith, Jones, Baker - that's all. I am to be referred to only as Mrs. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"

The new guy sighed and said, "Darling. My name is John Darling." 
"Errr, John, we will make an exception in your case..."

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 “Wow! Are they all yours?” exclaimed the social worker when she saw about a dozen children in the household.

“Yes, they are all mine.” said the flustered old lady, who must have heard the question a thousand times before. “Harpreet, come here!” she said and all the four boys and six girls came forward.

      “I will need their names” said the social worker as she started writing in her book. As the mother nodded, all the children recited their names, one by on. The social worker was flabbergasted.

      “How come ALL your children are named Harpreet?”

      “ Makes it easier, you know.  When I want to get them out of bed in the morning and get them ready for school, all I do is yell “Harpreet, Come on, Get up!”.  When I want to call them for lunch or dinner, I have to just shout “Harpreet” once and they all come running. I think naming them all Harpreet was a great idea!” 

      “Yes, but what do you do when you want to talk to only one of them?” 

      “ Well, I call them by their surname.

  ............................................

          The following is a dialogue from the film “Rush Hour 3” starring Chris Tucker as Detective James Carter, who is interrogating a blind martial art master, named Yu.

      Transcript below is taken from IMDB (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0293564/quotes). -

Master Yu: May I help you?
Detective James Carter: I'll be asking the questions old man. Who are you?
Master Yu: Yu.
Detective James Carter: No, not me. You.
Master Yu: Yes, I'm Yu.
Detective James Carter: Are you deaf?
Master Yu: No. Yu is blind.
Detective James Carter: I'm not blind. You blind.
Master Yu: That is what I just said.
Detective James Carter: You just said what?
Master Yu: I did not say what, I said Yu.
Detective James Carter: That's what I'm asking you.
Master Yu: And Yu is answering.
Detective James Carter: Shut up!
Detective James Carter: You!
Master Yu: Yes?
Detective James Carter: Not you. Him! What's your name?
Mi: Mi.
Detective James Carter: Yes, you.
Mi: I'm Mi.
Master Yu: He's Mi and I'm Yu.
Detective James Carter: And I'm about to whoop your old ass man because I am sick of playing games!