Internet Humour

At three o clock one morning a veterinary surgeon was woken from a deep sleep by the ringing of his telephone. He staggered downstairs and answered the phone. “I m sorry if I woke you,” said a voice at the other end of the line. “That’s all right,” said the vet, “I had to get up to answer the telephone anyway.”

"Who was that on the phone, Fred?"
 Fred: "No one important. Just some man who said it was long distance from Australia, so I told him I knew that already and put the phone down !"

     A man and a couple of his friends had just finished a round of golf at the country club and they were changing their shoes when a cell phone on the bench rang. The man picked it up and answered it. “Hi honey,” said the woman on the other end. “Hi honey,” replied the man. “I was just calling to tell you about this fur coat I found today. It’s beautiful fox fur and I just love the way it looks on me. It’s on sale too, a real bargain. It’s down to $2000 from $4000. Can I get it?” The man thought about it for a sec and said, “You re sure it’s a good deal?” “Oh yes,” replied the woman. “Okay then, I guess you can get it,” replied the man. The woman continued,”Oh, and you know how we’ve been thinking about getting rid of the Lexus and getting a new Jaguar? Well, I went to the dealership today and the guy gave me a real deal. He said he d lower the price from $50,000 to $35,000 just for me. Can I get it?” The man thought a little harder and said,”If you re sure it’s a good deal, then yes, go ahead and get the Jaguar.” The woman continued again. “Oh, one last thing, honey. Remember that house we saw last month that we really liked, but decided we d wait and think about? Well, it

        Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new colonel was sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on the door. Conscious of his new position, the colonel quickly picked up the phone, told the airman to enter, then said into the phone,
     "Yes, General, I'll be seeing him this afternoon and I'll pass along your message. In the meantime, thank you for your good wishes, sir."
Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young enlisted man, he asked, "What do you want?"
"Nothing important, sir," the airman replied, "I'm just here to hook up your telephone."

      After my wife and her former best buddy, another Air Force wife, were separated by a move that posted one husband on the opposite coast, the telephone became their chief means of communication. When our phone bills showed astronomical increases, the other spouse and I sought relief. Since we both owned computers, we encourage our wives to use electronic mail. Now they call on the phone to let each other know that e-mail was sent, then call back to confirm that it arrived and have a conversation about the contents!