Helping Cupid

In Greek Mythology, Cupid is the son of Goddess of Love, Venus and he is often depicted as a chubby little, child in nude carrying a bow and arrow in his hand. He is believed to be the celestial ‘match-maker’, who brings a man and woman together by shooting them with magical golden arrows that arouse their amorous thoughts and physical attraction for each other. Occasionally, however, he misses his aim and shoots at the wrong ‘target’, resulting in an unnecessary romantic tangle and a broken heart. You cannot really blame it all on Cupid though, with so many youthful teenagers these days being all ready to trip in love at the drop of a hat.
There was this case of a friend of mine from college days, Sameer Shah, who would fall in love with every third beautiful girl that he came across!  However, he would claim that it was, in fact, the other way round with the girls finding him attractive and hence chasing him around, which was the price he had to pay for being born handsome! He was no doubt quite good-looking and an object of envy for the rest of us, the luckless flops and ‘also-ran’s. The fact, however, was that he had developed an effective knack of seducing the female species that they vied with each other to gain his attention and favors. Within a short time, Sameer had acquired the reputation of being the College Romeo and a happy-go-lucky Lothario. Cupid must have worked overtime those days and was probably badly in need of a break and a helping hand for his noble but onerous task, which I soon had the opportunity of giving, only to discover that I had landed myself in pretty hot soup in the process.

              It so happened that one day our romantic hero bumped into a lovely, charming girl in the college campus and as was his wont, he immediately turned back giving a low whistle of instant admiration and started chasing her down the corridor. Soon, he had found out that the charming girl was one Miss Sharmila Kasbekar studying in the Senior B.A class with English and Psychology as her subjects and that she was staying in Dharwar with her spinster aunt, one Ms. Yamunabai Kasbekar, who was the Principal of the local Teachers Training College for Women. Sameer had found something strange and uniquely charming about this girl Shama, as she was fondly called by her close friends and everyone at home. He found that he could not shake her off easily from his thoughts and that, in fact, he was so besotted with her ethereal beauty that he had, for the first time in life, fallen head over heels for a girl at the very first sight. 

                 From next day, Sameer Shah embarked in right earnest on his most ardent mission ever, the “Mission Sharmila”. He began skipping lectures to hover outside her class to catch a glimpse of her pretty face and possibly to strike a friendship using his well-tried ‘modus operandi’. First, he would stare at the girl intently and when they made an eye-contact, flash his most captivating Errol Flynn smile. Then, after waiting for a while for signs of encouraging response, he would repeat the procedure. After this initial ‘assault’, which failed miserably, he sought a formal introduction to her through the willing cooperation of a common female friend. At their very first interview, he tried to create a favorable impression on her with his polite, courteous demeanor and casual, witty conversation with added flavor of innocuous compliments on her innate beauty, especially her dark, attractive eyes. However, contrary to his expectations and great disappointment, the girl showed little interest in our Romeo and ignored him almost completely. So, next day, he waited for her patiently outside her class to invite her for a chat over a cup of coffee in the college canteen. Although, at first she had politely declined the offer, she finally gave in to his ardent entreaties and joined him hesitatingly in the canteen. Gradually it dawned upon him that his normal, well tried strategies in the “technique of love” were somehow not working this time and that they were failing mainly because this girl Shama, from Karwar, was basically a very shy person and hence, not very forthcoming in her response. This was a new experience for Sameer, who had till then considered himself to be a veritable ‘Don Juan’ and ‘lady-killer’! Not being used to such miserable setbacks in matters of love, he had turned overnight into a forlorn, jilted lover-boy like Devdas. He had confided in me that Shama was his true dream-girl and none could ever take her place! It was obvious that he was neck deep in love and so desperate that I could see he badly needed someone like me to lend his shoulder and share his woes of despair.   

        Sameer said that for all his ardent overtures Shama’s responses had been few and far between and if at all, they were feeble and discouraging. I told him I knew that he was not the type who would easily despair and give up and that he should keep trying in right earnest. To begin with, he must make it a point to take care of his personal hygiene, especially, take a regular, daily bath and not just once “Jumme-ke-Jumme”. He must remember that a girl likes her man to be neat and tidy and also, well groomed. Girls are so particular about their dresses and looks that they spend a lot of time in front of the mirror and probably expect the same of their men. So, he too must stick to only decent, well-fitting clothes in well-matched, cheerful colors and he should throw away immediately all his stinking, old sneakers with holes in it. “Remember, if the girl is hanging her head down, it may not be just because she is feeling shy; more likely, she is just inspecting your shoes. Girls like men who’re stylish and polished.” I told him “In short, brush teeth, shave and shower regularly and please splash some cologne after every bath. Oh yes, also pop a mint in your mouth every time you open it, then I think she will not only talk to you, but also remember you as the guy who always smells so good! Dressing well not only makes you look sexier, it also makes you feel confident. Remember, more than anything else, it’s your confidence that’s number one thing in attracting girls.” 

            “If she’s giving you only one-word replies, as you say, then in all probability you’re boring her with your chatter and stupid jokes. If she is not quite opening up in conversation, it may be because you’re bragging all the time about yourself and not giving her chance to talk. Remember, girls detest show-offs. If you’re a good listener, then she will open up and talk to you.  So, for a change, ask her what she likes and dislikes. Talk to her about her interests and make her talk about herself, about music, movies, her hobbies and so on. But do your homework well; if she is interested in Origami, find out first what the good word means. Find out also what she likes to read and if she likes Indian or Western movies. If she mentions about some good book she has liked, don’t try to impress her by telling a lie that you too have read the book. If she is smart enough, she will find out the truth. Tell her instead, that you very much wanted to read the book, but, could not find a copy in the library. For all you know, she may have one and she will be only too glad to lend it to you. That means you get another damn good excuse to meet her again!” I also told him that he could tell her about his passion for cricket and who knows, she might think that if the guy is so passionate about a silly game, he could be equally passionate in his love! There was one more thing that I wanted to caution him about and that was: he should never make the mistake of praising another girl friend, or even as much as look at her, because girls can get very jealous! She would never forget it or forgive him for the rest of his life. Girls need frequent reassurance that they have no competition. She must feel that she’s the one and the only one on his mind and it’s most important that she should feel safe, secure and happy when he is around; so, when she thinks of him later, she will recall the wonderful moments they had together.

            Sameer started meeting Shama more often, almost on daily basis. He would patiently wait for her outside the classroom and after the class they would go out together to the canteen for coffee, which was actually a ploy he often employed to snatch her much coveted company. Shama was also now slowly opening up and warming up to his attempts at getting close and personal. She had at last started showing some interest and liking for her beau. When he talked to her, she would listen to him intently gazing deep into his eyes and when their eyes met, she would suddenly look away with a faint and coy smile. Nowadays, she was also often found giggling and enjoying even his stupid PJ’s. Slowly but certainly, she was coming into her own as a rather talkative person. Sometimes, they would go out for a stroll by the beautiful Kelgeri Lake behind the college or take a leisurely walk back home. Eventually, her friends did not fail to notice their ever-increasing togetherness in and around the campus and they had even started teasing her about Sameer. They would giggle casting meaningful glances at each other or one of them would be bold enough to come and ask Sameer as to what he had done to their poor friend, Shama who was nowadays always so dreamy and lost in thought as if she was desperately pining for someone! In a small town like Dharwar, it doesn’t take more than a fleeting smile from the boy passing a girl to set the tongues wagging and if they are seen talking to each other, then it’s a ‘breaking news’, that spreads like a wild fire. The couple is expected to maintain a ‘safe’ distance, though, of at least 2 to 3 feet between them; else, there is a growing suspicion that a love affair is on and if they ever get caught walking around hand-in-hand then God help them, for in no time the whole thing would blow up into a national scandal! So, like most love birds in town, Sameer and Shama would occasionally escape to a desolate place in the woods, called Hatticole, on the outskirts of the town, where they would find some freedom from curious looks as well as some, much-needed privacy.

 

            ‘ Le Sameer-et-Shama Affaire’ was now going on steady and full-speed and although both had obvious interest in each other, they had still not made it ‘official’ by any express declaration of love per se. Though Sameer had indirectly hinted at it several times, he had not actually ventured out with a confession of his love for the simple reason that he was not sure yet what Shama’s reaction  might be and mainly, if she really liked him. I told him a girl’s body language will give him clear signals if she fancies him or not. The broad smile that lights up her face when she sees him and the twinkle in her eyes will tell him that it is the right moment to make his marriage proposal. I told him he should first have an open, heart-to heart talk with Shama and ask her straight away if she would marry him or if he didn’t feel up to it, he should put it all down on paper. He then scribbled the draft of a small letter and showed it to me for suggestions, if any; it was full of romantic jargon lifted straight from popular Hindi movies of those times: “ Your serene beauty like that of the Full Moon in the night or lotus in the lake haunts me day and night and I am simply overwhelmed, my dearest Sanam, by the magic of your smile and that intoxicating wine of love I can see flowing in your beautiful eyes. All I beseech of you is a small bit of space in your heart and I am prepared to wait for it from here to eternity, but, remember, my love, my own heart in the meanwhile will be shattered into a thousand pieces! ”  I told him that rather than acquiesce in to his proposal, the poor girl might go crazy out of sheer bewilderment in trying to get the hang of his letter. So, like Cyrano de Bergerac, I offered to write the letter for him because I sincerely believed that at times like these even Cupid needs some help. Fortunately for me, he didn’t know who Cyrano de Bergerac was; else, he wouldn’t have agreed to take the risk. For, Cyrano de Bergerac was a talented, seventeenth century poet with a rather huge ugly nose, who wrote love-letters for his handsome friend, by name Christian, who was madly in love with his fair and beautiful cousin, Rossane.  But, Rossane got so enamored by those passionate letters that she fell in love with their author rather than his slow-witted friend!

            To everyone’s surprise, Shama’s response was quite positive: while she was ready to tie the knot,   she told him, she could foresee a problem in getting her parents’ approval. She said her parents had made it very clear to her, in no uncertain terms, that they would select the boy for her only after making proper enquiries about his family and antecedents and in any case, she felt, they would never agree to an alliance with a boy from any other but their own GSB community, let alone another religion. So, if he were really serious about his intentions, the right thing would be to take initiative and approach her parents directly in this matter! Sameer now had a real, tough problem on his hands.

      Now, it so happened that this Yamunabai Kasbekar, with whom Shama was staying, knew my mother very well being her best friend and the two often used to visit each other. One day, my mother caught the two lovers under rather intimate circumstances just outside her friend’s bungalow and though they did manage to spring apart just in time, not too much had escaped my mother’s sharp eyes to give them both a knowing look.  On returning home, my mother asked me as to what my friend was up to with her friend’s niece and if anything ‘serious’ was going on between the two that should be reported to her friend at once. Naturally, I feigned complete ignorance, which, obviously my mother didn’t believe. Next day, however, I did warn Sameer to be more careful henceforth. Instead of worrying about it, the fellow was overjoyed that my mother knew the aunt so well and he started pestering me to prevail upon my mother to plead his case with her friend and make a strong recommendation for him as the “perfect match” for her niece. I told him that my mother would do no such thing as she herself might be deadly against the idea; she knew very well that he came from a Muslim family despite his Hindu sounding family name.  

          As my Inter Science exams were fast approaching, I decided to concentrate on my studies putting Sameer, Shama and their love affair on the backburner for the time being, until suddenly one day Sameer appeared in our courtyard whistling his typical signature tune almost non-stop. I realized at once that something had gone wrong which called for my immediate attention and so I ran downstairs. “Vasant, I’m doomed!” he burst out when he saw me. “You know what? Shama’s parents are getting her hooked-up to some bloke in Calcutta! God! Now, all our plans are going to go haywire.” Then, he proceeded to tell me how they had meticulously planned together their future plans that he would  join the Army after his Inter Science while Shama took up a job on completing her post-graduation, so that they would both be earning well before they actually got married and settled down. I told him that since a long time I was expecting something like this to happen, which was the reason for my suggestion that he had better take the initiative to talk things out with her parents and seek their blessings. I had my own doubts that they might vehemently oppose the marriage, because firstly, he was younger to Shama by two years; secondly, he was still not earning to support a wife and family and last but not the least, he was a Muslim! Besides, there still remained the important question of his parents’ approval – would they ever accept a Hindu daughter-in-law?

“Come on, Vasant. I am not a daft not to have considered all those points. For one thing, we’re not getting married tomorrow; it maybe some two years hence. I told you I’m joining Army and I’ll get my commission in just two years’ time and Shama will get a decent job once she completes her M.A. So, where’s the problem?”

“What about her age? You know she is senior to you by at least two years. “

“Oh, don’t be so old-fashioned. Age is just a number, Yaar --- and not a factor in any marriage. Who says that husband should be always older than wife? If the wife is older, then it should be all the more welcome because then wife will be more mature than the husband! I know so many happy marriages with wife older than the husband. Actresses like Norma Shearer, Lucille Ball and Elizabeth Taylor are all married to younger men. Even Napoleon’s wife Josephine and Shakespeare’s Emma Hathaway were older than their husbands without any hassles in their marriages. Well, I can see only one problem, though; after some time, the husband is very likely to run away with a younger woman! But, that’s Shama’s problem, not mine!! “

“What about your parents, will they agree?”

“Ah! Leave it to me --- I’ll handle that situation when it arises. I tell you although my parents are somewhat orthodox and religious, they are not fanatics! You know, actually we’re a modern, progressive Muslim family with a broad-minded outlook.  So, Shama will never face any problems on that account. She will have full freedom to follow her own religion as I will have to follow mine.”

“Sameer, I wish I could help you, but, I really don’t know how. “

“Oh, yes, you can help me! Just lend me twenty five bucks so I can go to Karwar and see her Dad. I will make a formal request to him to give me his daughter’s hand in marriage. I will tell him that we are both so madly in love, that if he lets us marry, I will do everything I can to keep his daughter happy all her life.”

“What! Twenty Five Rupees!! From where am I going to give you that much money, when I don’t have it myself?  I don’t get any pocket money like you, you know.”

“Come on! Don’t give me all that crap. I know, right now you have in your pocket twenty five rupees, which your mother gave you yesterday to buy a new pair of shoes, remember? Well, you can postpone buying those shoes for the sake of your best friend, can’t you? Don’t worry, I will return the money as soon as I return from Karwar.  It’s just a matter of four days. If my eldest brother were in town, I would not have even asked you. But, he is out of station and so, you have no option but to help me. Please, Vasant. Just pass me those twenty five bucks and I will never forget it all my life. Can’t you see it’s a matter of life and death for me? You’re my only best friend. If you won’t help me now, who will? Remember, a friend in need is a friend indeed.”  “Okay! Okay, I will try. But, what am I going to tell my mother if she asks me why I am still moving around in my dirty old, torn shoes?  I will have to tell her some blatant lie, Yaar, which I’ve never done in my life.”

For next ten days, Sameer had vanished into thin air and I just kept waiting for him like a dumb fool. Every day, I had to invent a brand new excuse to tell my mother. At last, just as I was wavering to spill the beans and tell her the truth, my good old friend reappeared on the scene with a wide grin on his face and an equally pathetic look in his eyes, that could not hide the fact that his mission was far from successful. “Oh, her father is such a nice gentleman.” he said. “He was most apologetic when he said he would have certainly given some thought to my request, but, I was a bit too late! He had already given his word of honour to another party and there was no way he could go back on it, now. Besides, like you, he is also dead against “wife-older-than-husband” kind of marriages. He had read somewhere that women who marry younger men have a short life span and whether it’s true or not, which father would like to take the risk in the case of his own daughter’s life? ”

“Naturally……. Anyway, don’t give up hope, Sameer and take it easy. I am sure, someday you will find a lovelier girl than Shama ……… and by the way, when do you think you will return my money? ”

“What money? Oh! Oh, I cleanly forgot. But, don’t worry, Yaar. I’m not running away with your money or I will do one thing. I will give you my brand new shoes, okay?”

“Aarre, but you had told me -----“

“Jaane Bhi Do Yaar!  Listen to this. As for the girl lovelier than Shama, I’ve already found one in Karwar! You know, I met her cousin who is such a ravishing beauty. If you considered Shama as Superb, then wait till you see this girl, Sheila. Aarre, she is simply a Super-duper!! She will be in our college next year and you’ll see for yourself what I mean.  What’s more, she is also younger than me! So, you guys can stop giving me all that crap about age disparity etc.  Oh, how I simply adore her! ”

“NO, not again, Stupid Cupid! ”