Twin Jokes

Dan married one of a pair of identical twin girls. Less than a year later, he was in court filing for a divorce.
"OK," the judge said, "Tell the court why you want a divorce."
"Well, your honor," Dan started, "Every once in a while my sister in law would come over for a visit, and because she and my wife are so identical looking, every once in a while I`d end up making love to her by mistake."
"Surely there must be some difference between the two women." the judge said.
"You bet  there is a difference, Your Honor! That`s why I want the divorce." he replied.

A school inspector saw two little girls in the front row of a class and  they were absolutely identical. "You must be twins", she said. "No, miss," they answered together. "But you are sisters, aren't you?" she asked.  "Yes, miss", they replied. "And how old are you?" she asked. "We are nine," they said at the same time.  "Then, you must be twins!" said the inspector. 
"No, miss. We are triplets, but, our sister has got flu."

A couple desperate to have a baby went to their priest and asked him to pray for them.
"Next week I am going to Rome and while I am there, I will light a candle for you," he replied.
Three years later,  the priest returned to his parish and went to the young couple's house to visit. He found the wife to be pregnant and busy attending to two sets of twins. The priest felt very elated and asked the girl where her husband was so that he could congratulate him.

"He has gone out for a while," came the harried reply.

"Where has he gone?" asked the priest. 

She replied," To Rome, to blow the damn candle out!"

Two Sardars were sitting next to each other at a bar. After a while, one of them, Santra Singh looked at the other and said, "I can't help it, but I think I've seen you somewhere before.  Are you from Jullender?" 

Montu Singh replied,"Yes, that I am!" 

Santra:  " So am I! And you're from the city proper or from Chhavani?" 

Montu:  " I stay in Jullender City" 

Santra:  " I am also from the city area. And what street do you live on?" 

Montu:  " A lovely little area it is, I live on  Chandu Halwai Street in old  Jullender." 

Santra: " Aarre Bhai, it's a small world, so do I! Don't tell me you also went to  St.Mary's school? " 

Montu:  " Yes, I did. Tell me, what year did you graduate?" 

Santra:  " Well, I graduated in 1964." 

Montu:  " Guru is Great! I can hardly believe it. You know, I too graduated from St. Mary's in 1964." 

     Thereupon, they called the bartender and told him,"What a coincidence! We're both from Jullender, we went to the same school and graduated the same year. What's more, we both have the same address too"

                " Hi Rubba! You twins are drunk again !!"