Internet Humour

       Mugging is no Joke   

      

          A golfer is walking down the road carrying his clubs when he sees an Arab being held up at gunpoint. He pulls out a wedge and smashes it over the back of the robber's head, knocking him unconscious. 

      "You probably saved my life," says the grateful Arab. "I am a member of    

the Saudi Royal Family and I have the power and money to give you anything you desire as a reward."

The golfer glances at his golf bag."Some golf clubs would be nice," he says. 

    

      Two weeks later, the Sheikh's secretary calls him up.  "We've got your golf 

clubs," she says, "but the Sheikh would like to apologise to you in advance: 

only three of them have swimming pools."

.........

    I was walking home down a dark lane with the wife last night, when we were approached by a mugger with a knife. "Give me all your cash and empty your pockets before I slash you the fuck up", he demanded.
      I was just about to give him what he wanted, when my brave,sweet wife said, "You don't have the nerve, you soft arsed ------- ". Out of sheer panic, the mugger plunged the knife into her chest and fled as she crumpled to the floor.
      And they say ventriloquism is a dying art!

..........

    

    Santa Singh was once mugged by two thugs; he put up a brave fight, but finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet. Upon finding only two rupees in the wallet, the surprised thug said "Why did you put up such a fight?" To which Santa Singh promptly replied " Because, what would I do if you found the 200  rupees I had hidden in my shoe!" 

..........

    

    My old grandfather was mugged in the park last week, punched in the face and his wallet stolen. The police arrived and took a description of the attacker alongside other details.
"How much cash was in your wallet, Sir?" asked the police inspector.
"About thousand rupees" said grandfather.
"OK, Sir," said the inspector as he was leaving, "we'll let you know if we find out anything."
"Grandpa," I said, "where did you get thousand rupees? I know you don't have that much money."
"I know," said grandfather, winking at me. "But if at all they catch the rasacal, it's going to be my word against his! "

..........