A Driving License for Pallu

A Driving License for Pallu

Vasant  Hattangadi

     Soon as I entered the house, I could sense something ominous in the air. Both my wife and daughter, Pallavi looked so sullen and crestfallen. “Come on, Pallu” I asked impatiently “Don’t tell me you’ve banged Santro into tree again!” “Oh, no! Santro’s fine, Papa” explained Pallu, sweetly “ Just, we friends had gone for a ride and believe me, I got it back all in one piece. It’s just that ---Well, I’ve parked the car on the lawns!” 

      “NO! Not Lawns!!” I yelled in anguish. You see, the said lawns were just behind our building, some three feet below the road level, with nothing but a couple of uneven steps for approach. I rushed out to the balcony to have a look and indeed, found our new car standing there majestically in the middle of the sprawling lawns! God alone knows how Pallu had managed to get it there in the first place! “How will you get it out now, Papa?” asked Pallu, innocently. “I don’t know, Dear” I replied “Maybe we’ll have to get a crane or, perhaps, Mr. Salmaan Khan. He must have experience in such matters.” 

      Salmaan Khan was instructor-cum-proprietor of Khan’s Motor Driving School in Chembur, which our over-enthusiastic daughter had joined about a year back, while we were still planning to buy the car. For a nominal fee of only two thousand rupees, Mr.Khan had promised to get her a driver’s license in just twenty easy lessons. It was decided that Pallu would leave for office a bit early every morning and Mr.Khan would pick her up in his car and drop her at the Station in time to catch the 9:15 train, giving her driving lessons along the way.

        On the very first day, though Mr.Khan turned up on the dot, Pallu was not ready as expected. So, the first lesson was cut short with only a cursory introduction to the dashboard, steering wheel, gears etc. The second lesson was not much different from the first and the routine continued all through the course. The trainee didn’t mind, because she was receiving the royal treatment of being dropped by car every morning and the trainer seemed happy at the prospect of a profitable, prolonged course! It was the latter part that bothered me.

        For her first driving test, Pallu was asked to drive through the local market.  As they passed Manjiri’s showrooms, Pallu cast a secret, sideways glance at the young, handsome RTO examiner by her side, but, happened to catch instead a glimpse of an enchanting, lovely Benaras saree in the showroom window. Then, suddenly, in a genuine frenzy of uncontrollable rapture, she burst out into a loud, shrill shriek: “Oh! How cute!!”  Not knowing what really had hit him, the poor officer shouted in panic, “Brakes! Clutch!! The Brakes!!!”. Pallu, terrified at this unexpected turn of events, bent down obediently to clutch the brakes tight in both her hands! The traffic policeman at the junction saw a ‘driverless’ car fast approaching him and so, abandoning his post, he jumped from the wooden pedestal and ran for his life to the safety of his cubicle !! By now, the young officer had recovered enough to jam his dual-control brakes while smartly steering the car to avert a collision with a tree. The car, however, continued its dangerous journey across the road divider and the second lane to climb on to the pavement on the other side. To a great relief of Mr. Salman Khan sitting on the back seat, it finally came to a screechy halt just two feet short of a street urchin sleeping quietly, oblivious of all the commotion around him!

       Needless to add, Pallu failed the driving test miserably and also, the following three tests. After each test, Mr. Khan would patiently coach her up for another week and painstakingly prepare her for the next test. However, Pallu managed somehow to flunk each time: either she failed to start the car up a steep slope or would bang it into a lamppost while reversing. Once, she drove straight into a one-way street from the wrong end! When I admonished her for crossing the speed limit during a test, she replied, “What rubbish, Papa! How could I possibly go sixty miles an hour, when the entire test lasted only twenty minutes and we didn’t even go beyond Ghatkopar? ”

       Finally, I asked Mr.Khan to tell me frankly as to why my smart daughter wasn’t getting through so consistently after all his training. “Well, Kya boloon, Saab?” said Mr.Khan stroking his french beard. “The basic problem is your daughter’s so good looking, Na?” “What!” I burst out, suddenly suspicious of the fellow’s intentions. But, Mr. Khan continued in his usual cool manner, “Kya karen Saab, Ishq ho gaya, Na?  Mujhe nahin -- woh Saale RTO ko!  This way, he gets chance to meet her every week, Na?”

       I decided to make some discrete inquiries and find out myself. To my great relief and delight, the young officer in question turned out to be a veritable Bhanap --- one Rahul Vombatkere from Thane! I knew instantly what I had to do. I called on his mother and the rest is history, as they say. Pallu got her driver’s license all right and also the young RTO in the bargain!  Now, they have a car of their own; the poor man sits at the wheel while she does the driving --- from the backseat!! 

 ( Published in Kanara Saraswat , Feb 2005 )