Humour in Driving
Judge: ‘But if you saw the woman driving towards you, why didn’t you give her half the road?’
Male Driver: ‘I was going to, Your Honour, as soon as I could find out which half she wanted.
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A lady driver was passing through a built-up area at about 60 mph when she noticed a motorcycle cop on her tail. She accelerated to to 80 mph but he stuck doggedly to her tail. She really put her foot down and pushed the car up to 90 mph, drawing rapidly away from the policeman. Suddenly she spotted a filling station ahead and slammed on the brakes. she stopped on the forecourt and ran into the womens toilets. 5 mins later she came out to see the police officer still waiting for her. With a polite smile she said, ‘I bet you thought I wouldn’t make it in time!’
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Policeman: "When I saw you coming round that bend I thought, 'Forty-five at least '."
Woman driver: " I know. Well, my friends always tell me I look older in this saree!"
Woman driver: " I know. Well, my friends always tell me I look older in this saree!"
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Wife: “There’s trouble with the car. It has water in the carburettor.”
Husband: “Water in the carburettor? That’s plain daft.”
Wife: “I’m telling you the car has water in the carburettor.”
Husband: “Don’t be silly, You don’t even know what a carburettor is. Where’s the car?”
Wife: “In our neighbor's swimming pool.”
Husband: “Water in the carburettor? That’s plain daft.”
Wife: “I’m telling you the car has water in the carburettor.”
Husband: “Don’t be silly, You don’t even know what a carburettor is. Where’s the car?”
Wife: “In our neighbor's swimming pool.”
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A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband when he burst into the kitchen.
"Careful."he cried, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my goodness! you're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my word! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? they're going to STICK! Careful ... CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"
The wife stared at him in amazement, "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving car."
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