Internet Humour

             A Quotable Quote :                                                                              

        “ We  are  responsible  for  what  we  do, unless  we  are  political     

               Celebrities in India "                                                                                                                                                                               

•  Michael Johnson, the Olympic gold medal runner, was on his way to a club with some friends. At the gate, the watchman said: "Sorry, Sir, you can't go in — denim's not allowed." Michael was quite annoyed at this and retorted: "Don't you know who I am? I'm Michael Johnson." "Oh! Then, it won't take you long to run home and change,Sir?" replied the watchman.
•  Deciding to take up jogging, the man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store. While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk: "What is this little thing here on the side?" And the clerk: "Oh, that's a pocket to carry some spare change so you can call your wife to come and pick you up when you've jogged too far."
• One man's hobby was running and he spent all his weekends running in the country side. One Sunday, early in the morning, he went for a run as usual. It was still dark, cold and raining, so he decided to return back to his house. He came in, went to his bedroom, undressed and laid near his wife. "Weather is very bad today, honey" he said to her. "Yes, I know" she replied "but that idiot husband of mine still went out running"
• Sakpal Singh:  I have stopped going to Gym
  Iqbal  Singh :  Why ? You joined just two months back.
  Sakpal Singh:  Yes and in two months, I haven’t lost even one pound.
  Iqbal  Singh :  How come?
  Sakpal Singh:  First they make you pay Rs.2000/- when you join. Then, on top of it

                               you are also expected to show up every morning !  
  
  
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   A man had been driving all night. He decided to stop on the way and park somewhere quiet so he could get an hour or two of sleep. As luck would have it, the quiet place he chose happened to be on one of the city's major jogging routes. No sooner had he settled back to snooze when there was a knock on his window. He looked out and saw a jogger running in place. "Yes?" "Excuse me, Sir," the jogger said, "What is the time, now?" The man looked at the car clock and answered, "8:15." The jogger said thanks and left. The man settled back again, and was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window and another jogger. "Excuse me, Sir, What's the time?" "8:25!" The jogger said thanks and left. Now the man could see other joggers passing by and he knew it was only a matter of time before another one disturbed him. To avoid the problem, he got out a pen and paper and put a sign in his window saying "Please, I don't know what's the time!" Once again he settled back to sleep. 
  He was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window. "Yes, What do you want?" "Sir, It's 8:45 now ! "
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  You know it is time to take up jogging when...
  o    You try to do a few pushups and discover that certain body parts refuse to leave the floor.
  o    Your children look through your wedding album and want to know who mom's first husband was.
  o    You come to the conclusion that, if God really wanted you to touch your toes each morning, He would have put them somewhere around your knees.
  o    You analyze your body honestly and decide what you should develop first is a sense of humor.
  o   You step on a talking scale and it says, "Come back when you are alone"
  
  
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  Janter Singh  : I am going to New Zealand, next week
  Manter Singh: Why, What's up?
  Janter Singh  : Well, I want to practice for the next cross-country race and it always 
                              helps to start with a small country.
  
  
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  One advantage of jogging, they say, is that each mile of jogging adds one minute to your longevity. Thus, at the age of 85, you will be able to stay an additional five months in the Nursing Home at Rs 10,000/- a month! 
  
  
  
  
  
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